Teaching on Father

by Lucia Sweetland

The Mind Can Fool You

There was a time in my life when I was having these inner experiences that started out as being inspired and of the Light, but a vulnerability in me (ego) led to false imposters taking over. I felt that since the experiences seemed real to me and seemed to be of the Light, and since I had had legitimate experiences to begin with, that then all subsequent experiences were real too. I (my ego) was enjoying the attention and admiration from sharing these experiences with others on a spiritual forum, until one day someone wrote form their heart that they were not real because they contained no Light!

Others went on to confirm this, particularly one who was pretty outspoken and direct about it. And I was devastated. I thought how could I have fooled myself? But the fact is that there was a part of me all along that knew that these experiences weren't real, but I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to surrender the ego gratification of feeling "special" and above others who were not having these amazing experiences. That was my opening for the darkness. Pride is always our downfall.

Processing through the pain

I eventually processed through this situation, but in the meantime I felt quite a bit of self-pity for not having real experiences of love from the Masters, as if the masters had rejected me because I had opened myself up to manipulation by the dark forces through taking on and identifying with pride. This was all a manifestation of the inferiority/superiority complex, which is pride. And we could even say that self-pity is a part of this complex too, feeling sorry for ourselves and insecure that we are not as loved and good as others, that we are actually in a warped way “special” in our being especially rejected and unloved by God.

If we look at Lucifer truly, we see someone who was insecure. Sure, he was proud and puffed up over his attainment and all that he was doing with God, but he was insecure in that when it came to serving and honoring the Christ in the Sons and Daughters of God, he could not do it. Only someone who is truly secure, such as El Morya, can "decrease" so others may increase. And what Lucifer did not believe was that God loved him as much as any other being in His kingdom. And God had Lucifer's best interests in mind as much as anyone else's. Lucifer did not understand that it is in giving of ourselves selflessly that we expand and are More; it is in helping others to be More that we become More.

Fear of imperfection becomes pride

Therefore, the original "Father does not love me" probably came from Lucifer, and we have bought into it. "If I surrender myself to the Father, I will be as nothing. The Father loves others more than me. All He wants of me is what I can give to the others, who He loves, therefore, not only am I not loved, but others - the Sons and Daughters of God, are better than me. I feel worthless and bereft. I cannot bear this pain. I will show the Father; I will make him love me on my terms!” Lucifer loved the Father and wanted to be loved by the Father, even wanted to serve the Father and surrender to Him, but he could not get past this idea that if he did surrender, he would be as nothing. His desire to express his Divine Individuality was warped into a mis-expression of being above others in his "giving". He had to be "better", because if he were not "better", he believed, he was nothing - the lie that if others become More, we become less, and that serving and submitting ourselves to others makes us less.

And once we believe the lie "Father does not love me", how can we return to the Father when we make a mistake? How could we turn back to one who does not love us - who loves others who are preferred over us and we are just fit to serve, not to be loved like they are? We are aware that we have done something wrong because we do not feel the love of the Father. We associate love with being perfect, because before our fall (mistake) we felt the love of the Father. Because we blame the Father for not loving us instead of taking the responsibility for turning away from God and cutting ourselves off from God, which we cannot do because we are afraid of admitting we are wrong (surrendering to Father, being imperfect, being rejected, being nothing), we cannot look at ourselves to see what is wrong. We are trapped. The answer is surrendering the belief that Father does not love us. The key is to be willing to allow the Love of Father in, to allow it to teach us and heal us, so that we can fully surrender. We can't make ourselves surrender if we are conflicted inside, but we can gradually experience more and more of that Father Love until we finally get it - this is our true desire! What God wills for us is our true desire, is what is best for us! The Father does love us! I and my Father are one! Service is not boring, unfulfilling, restrictive or downgrading, it is the way to Being More of who we are! We have been wooed back Home.